I love her so much...

As I'm making this post I'm holding my tears from flowing, I'm trying to compose myself and not to over react to what's happening in the province as of the moment. Even though how much I try to hide my sadness my heart can never do, it's hurting.

Today is the 6th-year death anniversary of my beloved mother, I've missed her so much. But that's not what is making me so sad right now. It's the situation where my family's at right now; especially my grandmother who is very much sick and dying.

My grandma, Carmen Lucob, is 90 years old now. She had been strong for the past 89 years of her life, not until for the past few months when her sickness begun to show itself, overcoming the strength of my lola; she couldn't hide it anymore though she's fighting for it. The major diagnosis that her doctors had informed us is that she is suffering from congestive heart failure. Her heart is having difficulty pumping blood to her system.

I was informed by my sister earlier that my grandma's been breathing slow already. She cannot talk. She can hardly mover her body. She can hardly see for her eyes had bulged. She's in vain.

I told them to pray. God that holds her life; if He wills for it, there's nothing we can do. I thought, whatever happens to her God will always be there. My mother, her own daughter, will also be there.

The Lord knows what's best for my grandma, what's best for us.

I love her so much that it makes me sad knowing how she is. I love her so much that as much as possible I don't want her to leave the world. I love her so much that I would definitely take responsibility of having the burden of her sickness, exchange places with her. I lover so much that I want her to be happy forever.

She loves us too, so much.